EP 75: Tips to Have a Calm and Peaceful Holiday Season
Can you believe we’re already stepping into the holiday season? Thanksgiving is here, and before we know it, December will fly by in a blur. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed at this time of year, especially when we’ve spent so much of 2024 juggling personal and professional commitments. If you're feeling anxious about the upcoming holiday season, you're not alone. In my Dream Bigger Mastermind, I've had many conversations with clients who are actually dreading the holidays. They’re unsure how to navigate this time with the people they love while staying true to themselves.
That’s why I want to share some tools and tips that have helped my clients—and myself—find peace and joy during the holiday season. Whether you're hosting or simply attending family gatherings, it’s possible to experience the holidays in a way that honors your needs and well-being.
1. Set an Intention for the Holidays
The first step to navigating the holiday season with intention is to decide how you want to experience it. Ask yourself: How do you want to feel during the holidays? Who do you want to be around, and who do you not? When you set your intention for the season, you’re creating clarity for yourself about what matters most. This isn’t about pleasing anyone else; it’s about making choices that align with your truth and values.
Setting your intention can be a simple yet powerful way to get centered during this busy time. It’s about defining what you need to feel grounded, joyful, and at peace. Once you’re clear, it becomes easier to take actions or say no to things that don’t serve your well-being.
2. Acknowledge Your Triggers
The holidays can bring up a lot of emotions, especially when family dynamics are involved. You may notice old patterns surfacing or find yourself reverting to automatic reactions—something that happens to the best of us! Acknowledging your triggers ahead of time can make a huge difference in how you respond when those emotions arise.
Take some time to reflect: What family dynamics tend to activate you? Are there certain topics, people, or situations that create stress or discomfort? By being proactive in recognizing these triggers, you’re better prepared to protect your mental and emotional health. It also allows you to set up boundaries to avoid situations that are likely to cause distress.
3. Set Boundaries with Family
For many of us, setting boundaries with family members can feel like an uphill battle. There may be unspoken expectations or the fear of disappointing loved ones. But let me tell you, setting clear boundaries is not only empowering—it’s essential for your well-being.
This might mean limiting how much time you spend with certain family members, avoiding specific topics (like politics or religion), or opting out of activities that drain you. When I was in my early 20s, I decided to stop attending church with my family on the holidays. It wasn’t easy, but after some pushback, it became accepted. And now, I feel at peace with that decision because it honors my boundaries and values.
If you anticipate resistance, practice what you want to say ahead of time. Rehearse in your mind, or even out loud, how you'll address any pushback you might receive. By preparing, you can respond with calm and confidence instead of feeling defensive.
4. Have an Exit Strategy
Sometimes, despite our best intentions and preparations, family gatherings can become overwhelming. That's why it's crucial to have an exit plan. Whether it’s stepping outside for a walk, taking a few minutes to meditate, or just finding a quiet space to recharge, giving yourself permission to take breaks is key to staying grounded.
During high-stress moments, take deep breaths, practice belly breathing, or use any technique that works for you to calm your nervous system. The goal is to regain your center so that you can continue showing up with grace and compassion.
5. Practice Self-Care
The holiday season often adds extra layers of busyness—traveling, shopping, attending events—but don’t forget to take care of yourself during all of this. Self-care is more than just a luxury; it’s a necessity. This is the perfect time to prioritize activities that nourish your soul. Meditation, breathwork, or simply making time for a long bath can help you reset when things get too chaotic.
If you're new to self-care practices, now is the time to start! Even just a few minutes a day can make a big difference in how you show up for yourself and others. Whether you practice deep belly breathing or box breathing (inhaling for four counts, holding for four, exhaling for four), these simple techniques will help you regulate your emotions and stay present.
6. Let Go of the “People-Pleaser” Role
As women, we often feel responsible for the happiness of everyone around us, but that doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice our own peace. It can be challenging to stop being the “people-pleaser,” but this holiday season, I invite you to consider what it would look like to put yourself first. Instead of trying to manage everyone else’s expectations, give yourself permission to create the experience you’ve been craving.
Let go of any guilt about not meeting the expectations that others have placed on you. It’s okay to step into your power and say no to things that don't feel right. In doing so, you’ll open up space to experience the holiday season on your own terms.
7. Create New Traditions
If tradition feels restrictive or draining, consider starting your own holiday rituals. One of my mastermind clients wanted to host Christmas at her house, but felt conflicted because it had always been done at her mother’s house. The thought of disrupting that tradition was intimidating, but what if creating new traditions could bring more joy and connection? You have the power to craft the holiday experience that feels aligned with who you are today.
The holidays are a great time to experiment with new ways of celebrating. You may inspire others to follow suit, or you may simply give yourself the freedom to celebrate in a way that feels authentic and fulfilling.
8. Be Compassionate with Yourself and Others
Finally, remember that everyone is on their own journey. Sometimes the dynamics in our families are rooted in deep, unresolved wounds, and their behavior may be a reflection of their own pain. Instead of reacting to it with judgment or frustration, try approaching these situations with compassion and understanding.
Recognize that their triggers may be speaking to their own inner child’s pain. By staying grounded in your own truth, you can better navigate these moments with patience and love.
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The holiday season doesn’t have to be a time of stress, overwhelm, or obligation. By setting your intentions, acknowledging triggers, setting boundaries, and practicing self-care, you can create a holiday season that aligns with your needs and desires.
So, as we move into this holiday season, I encourage you to make yourself the priority. Show up for yourself with love, care, and compassion—and give yourself permission to create the kind of holiday you truly want. You deserve it.
If you need support with navigating this season, don't hesitate to reach out. I’m here to help you create the intentional, courageous holiday experience you're craving.
Happy holidays, and remember to take care of you!
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