EP 76: Breaking the Silence on Men's Mental Health with Mike de la Rocha
In today’s episode of Breathe More, I had the privilege of sitting down with my dear friend and client, Mike de la Rocha, to dive into an important and often overlooked topic: men’s mental health. Over the years, I’ve worked with many men who are seeking growth, healing, and transformation. However, there’s still a significant stigma surrounding the topic of mental health, especially among men. So, in this conversation, we explore why it’s so difficult for men to express vulnerability, the cultural pressures that contribute to this, and how we can all contribute to creating a safe space for men to heal.
The Silent Struggle
Men’s mental health is something that I feel isn't discussed enough. We often hear about mental health issues affecting women, but men are silently struggling behind closed doors. Mike shared how his own journey of healing began when he witnessed a powerful moment during one of our community gatherings. He was able to see firsthand the emotional release and vulnerability that’s often missing in the traditional view of masculinity. This moment, where another man was moved to tears in a healing session, marked a turning point for Mike. It opened his eyes to the importance of healing modalities that allow men to express their emotions freely.
We also discussed the larger societal patterns that often lead men to bottle up their feelings. For many, like Mike’s father, the inability to express emotions is passed down through generations. Mike opened up about how his father’s death forced him to confront his own feelings about masculinity, emotional vulnerability, and the inheritance of emotional suppression. It was during this reflection that Mike began to ask deeper questions: Why is it so hard for men to express love? Why do they struggle to ask for help? These questions eventually led him to write his book, Sacred Lessons: Teaching My Father How to Love, a deeply personal exploration of his father’s life and their relationship.
The Power of Community and Vulnerability
One of the most powerful points in our conversation was about the importance of community in the healing process. Both Mike and I agreed that healing doesn’t happen in isolation—it requires a supportive environment where men can feel safe to express themselves and break free from societal expectations. Mike talked about how the patriarchy has shaped the way men view themselves and how, for many men, this leads to a sense of disconnection, loneliness, and even anger.
Through his own journey, Mike has found healing not only through personal work but by learning from indigenous healing traditions and reconnecting with nature. This has given him a deeper understanding of the importance of emotional wellness, particularly for men who are often disconnected from their feelings. As Mike put it, “Healing can only happen in the context of community.”
Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Suppression
We also touched on how men can start to heal and break the cycle of emotional suppression. For those in relationships, I asked Mike what women could do to support their partners in their healing journey. He emphasized the importance of grace and the understanding that the journey isn’t linear. Men need a safe space to process their emotions, but they also need time to figure out how to navigate these feelings in a way that doesn't conflict with traditional gender expectations.
Mike’s advice to women who are in relationships with men struggling with mental health issues is to offer compassion and patience. The key is to show up with understanding, and instead of pushing your partner to heal in a certain way, let them do the work on their terms. It’s all about creating a loving, non-judgmental environment where they feel safe enough to take the first step towards healing.
Men’s Healing Circle: A Safe Space for Vulnerability
In the spirit of fostering these conversations, Mike and I are hosting a Men's Healing Circle in Downtown LA on December 7th. This event will create a safe, supportive environment for men to come together, share their experiences, and explore tools for healing. The space will be filled with love, safety, and the opportunity to engage in practices like journaling and breathwork. Register for your ticket here.
As we wrapped up the conversation, Mike shared something truly profound: "When men lash out, it's more often a cry for help than a display of anger." This insight reflects the depth of the emotional pain that many men carry and are unable to articulate. It’s crucial that we, as a society, create space for these conversations, not just for men, but for all individuals, to learn how to express their true feelings and find healing.
If you know a man in your life who may benefit from this healing circle, I encourage you to invite them to join us. And for those who are curious about Mike’s journey, Sacred Lessons is available for pre-order. His story is a powerful reminder of how healing can reshape our lives and how understanding one man’s journey can help us understand our own.
Remember, healing starts with you. If there’s something in your life that doesn’t feel aligned, if you’re carrying emotional pain, I invite you to do the work for yourself. Start your journey inward and then let it ripple out into the world, creating a community of care and support.
If you’re ready to explore healing in community, I hope to see you at Sacred Lessons: Men’s Healing Circle on December 7th in LA. Let’s break the silence and support one another on this powerful journey.
Click here to sign up for the Men’s Healing Circle and pre-order Sacred Lessons today.
GUEST BIO:
Mike de la Rocha is an author, visionary strategist, acclaimed artist, and compelling voice for change. Celebrated as one of the most influential changemakers of our era, Mike has been behind several of the largest policy victories and cultural shifts in United States history.
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Pre-Order Sacred Lessons: https://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Lessons-Teaching-Father-Love/dp/B0D5WKQDSP
Register for Sacred Lessons: Healing Men’s Circle – Dec 7 in LA: https://www.analilia.net/events/sacred-lessons-mens-healing-circle
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